


Based Entirely on a True Story... That Just Hasn't Happened Yet.

by sophieblunders (orphan_account)



Category: X-Men First Class (2011)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Architect Bullshit, Blind date that isn't exactly a date, Cain is an Ass, Charles Always Says the Absolute Worst Thing He Could Possibly Say, Charles Being Concerned, Charles Has Family Issues, Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Charles is a Professor, Charles is a Workaholic, Cherik - Freeform, Don't believe a word I write about the architectural business, Erik Hates Pineapple, Erik Kinda Sorta Knows What's Going On, Erik Logic Is The Best Logic, Erik is Crushing Harder than a 12-year Old Girl, Erik is not a Happy Bunny, First Time, Get these tags away from me, Grumpy Charles, If it were Cain that would be really weird, LITERALLY, M/M, Maybe some actual science, Modern AU, Multi, Mutual Pining, Not at first though, Omg seriously I need to stop tagging, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, RAVEN Logic is the Best Logic, Raven Hates Steve Rogers, Smitten Erik, Switches between Erik-Charles-Raven, The Marko's are a bunch of motherfuckers, They kind of hate each other in the beginning, Using Popular Tags Just Cuz, Well only Kurt, Writing is another matter though, erik is an architect, eventually, i thought this title was cool so, mwahahaha, no powers, sassy!Raven, so is Kurt, writer!Raven
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-16 11:41:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4624050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/sophieblunders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raven was just a romantic novelist with need for some inspiration. One night, oh one glorious night, when she was more than a little tipsy, she had a drunken revelation that rocked not only her world, but those of both her best friend Erik and brother Charles. She realized she was going to get them together and write a real life romance.</p><p>There were problems, though.</p><p>Charles was never available during the school year, being a professor for the university, so during the summer Raven had to simultaneously find off days for Erik, an architect for the most prestigious architectural company in the area, and an interested Charles and get them together in three months before it's too late.</p><p>Challenge accepted, world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Raven

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this while sitting in the passenger's seat of my mom's Lexus listening to the Civil Wars' "I've Got This Friend" and realizing that this would be perfectttt. This fanfiction is not based on the song, it just gave me inspiration.
> 
> My other work is on hiatus because I lost the book... Lol sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am looking for a co-writer, that, for one chapter, will write a sex scene (or two :P) for our two boys. I am not yet in high school, and I feel extremely uncomfortable writing such things, so. Um. Any takers? Just comment below if you want to. I would be so thankful, you have no idea.

Raven liked to think of herself as a modern day Robin Hood in the writing community. She took ideas and characters and plots and put them into an intricate love story to the loveless freaks of the world. She had written five books, two of them best-sellers, and all of them known to the apartment building complex because she handed them out as Christmas gifts every year.

She had just published a book, and she was riding the wave down into the time where she needed to get started on another one. Being an exclusively fictitious romance novelist, coming up with new concepts and characters was more difficult than most people believed it to be. For example, to come up with the main character normally took her a few weeks, then the partner took a few more, then how they meet took close to an eternity.

At that particular moment, she was somewhat tipsy-biggest understatement of the century-and was lying face down on the couch texting her brother.

 

> _c_ _harles. im drunk._

_Is that so?_

_> dont be condescending you bastard. this is a problem. i am drunk alone._

_I can't come over, Raven. I'm sorry._

_> im not saying you should come over. im saying im fulfilling an author stereotype._

_For a drunk, you have an impressive vocabulary. And you're not fulfilling a stereotype._

_> what would you know?_

_As your older brother, I just know. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to grade some quizzes. Goodnight, Raven._

_> fuck you charles._

_> fuck you very very much._

_Love you, my dearest sister. Get some rest._

_> fine. goodnight._

 

Raven shut her phone off and set it on the glass coffee table. Charles was always working on his professor stuff, which barely gave him any time to do... anything. He was either at a staff meeting or working overtime, tutoring or grading quizzes. It seemed that it was almost his way of avoiding his non-existent dating life. What he didn't know was that he didn't have one because he was always working. It was a never-ending cycle of loneliness. Raven, on the other hand, was always doing _something,_ be that writing or drinking or griping to her best friend Erik.

She realized she hadn't explained her current predicament to Erik. She turned her phone back on.

 

_> erik_

_> erikkkkkkkk_

_> ERIK_

_What? Jesus Raven I was sleeping!_

_> i'm drunk_

_I can tell._

_> help meeeeee._

_How?_

_> i need inspiration pronto _

_Well all of your stories are practically the same..._

_> youre worse than my brother sometimes, you know that right_

_At least I come over from time to time._

_> touche._

_Anyway, you just put out a book. You'll be fine._

_> fine doesnt pay the bills!_

_What bills? You're on a fucking trust fund!_

_> its the principle you idiot_

_Right. The principle._

_> whatever. any ideas_

_An insecure girl meets a confident "it" guy and the guy falls in love._

_> thats every single story ever, erik._

_That's exactly my point._

_> fuck you_

_I prefer guys, thank you._

_> then have christopher walken bend you over a table and fuck you_

_> good enough?_

_..._

_Hol-y shit._

_> im a writer dont you forget it_

_That's not writing, that's something entirely different._

_> ingenuity_

_More like psychotic ramblings._

_> i AM drunk_

_True._

_I'm going to bed, Raven. Again. Goodnight._

_> ughhhh_

_You probably should too._

_> UGHHHH_

_Goodnight._

 

Raven shut her phone off with a groan and flipped over onto her back. Neither her brother or her best friend were any help.

Erik was bisexual but leaning more towards the gay side, and Charles was... booksexual? It was the only thing that applied to his sexuality, because he'd never had any relationships other than some fling from the local pub. As for Erik, he regarded relationships like bombs. He dated occasionally, but that was only if he found someone he genuinely liked. In other words, once. He had dated once.

It was the last week of school for the university, and she was counting down the days to when she could finally see her brother again. It had been three months, maybe more, since they'd seen each other, and that was only for Mom's birthday. Even then he'd only been able to stay an hour. Raven had cussed him out as he drove away with a sad smile on his face, saying he: "Had to go to an important staff meeting in regards to safety regulations."

Fuck safety regulations.

But when he was finally off the job, Raven wasn't going to let him be in a five-mile radius of the university. She was going to force him to do the stuff he always shrugged off, like being in a real relationship and going to the movies and staying in and binge eating. Maybe it wasn't his thing, but if one thing was for sure, spending time with his only sister was. If only he did it more than three months out of the year. And, Erik had been saving up a ton of vacation days, and she planned to lug him around everywhere as well. Then, finally, he could meet her brother.

She smiled at the thought of Erik meeting Charles. Erik was a recluse-well, in some ways-and Charles was a little bumbling bookworm. She could imagine them arguing over paying a check at lunch or having a heated and passionate discussion about a certain book with arguable morals. Charles was small and wiry, Erik was tall and muscly.

 _Like a match made in heaven,_ she thought to herself. It was supposed to be a sarcastic thought. Then, she realized, it could happen.

"Holy motherfucking fuck," she whispered.

At that moment, Raven decided that she was going to set up her brother and her best friend and write a book about it.

 

 

 

 


	2. Raven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven schemes, Erik tries to catch on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG SO I WENT TO BED AND WOKE UP, CHECKED MY COMPUTER AND I SAW ALL THE KUDOS AND COMMENTS! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!
> 
> Also... I kind accidentally totally switched Erik and Charles' personalities... *takes out hypnosis wheel* YOU WILL FORGET WHAT YOU SEE HERE ERIK IS TOTALLY A SOCIALITE AND CHARLES IS BASICALLY A VIRGIN ROMANTICALLY BECAUSE THAT'S TOTALLY CANON
> 
> Ahem. Chapter note, done.
> 
> My sister is watching Once Upon a Time and I'm sitting here cringing as I see my Winter Boo Bear get stuck to the floor in Wonderland and an ugly ass excuse Prince Charming be all cheesy and I'm just like: If this were an X-Men AU I would make Erik this character and he wouldn't be this little prissy guy and he'd be all awesome and shit and I'm ranting but who fucking cares

Raven woke up with no hangover, which meant the day was going to be a good one. It took her a while to remember how she got into her bed, but somehow she had. The most important thing on her mind, however, was how to get her two favorite people in the world together.

At first, it had just been some little daydream that Raven had concocted to poke fun at their differences. As the daydream progressed though, it turned into something more elaborate. Opposites attract, she guessed. Except, it was something more than that. Like they would cancel their flaws out. For instance: Charles was not exactly what you would call immaculate. He left tea cups in random places, books out of the shelf, the bed unmade. It was somewhat uncharacteristic, but Raven figured that was because he worked so much. She wasn't clean either. But Erik was like a cleaning _machine._ Nothing in his apartment was out of place, no dishes in the sink _ever_ _,_ all of his architectural stuff was out of the way, stored neatly in his desk. It was like he was waiting for someone to move in.

There was some sort of envy that Raven held for that kind of mindset, because it would be amazing to actually be motivated to clean and do productive things to make her life easier. Alas, she was not that way.

One of Erik's flaws was that he got angry very quickly. Not at little things, and he didn't throw tantrums, but, for example, if his boss was being an ass that day, he wouldn't talk until you gave him alcohol or food, most of the time both. Unfortunately Sebastian Shaw was always being an ass, so as a result Erik became a temporary one. It wasn't _that_ bad, Raven supposed, because that way she was almost obligated to spend time with him. For the first half hour it was like being in the same room with a broody Satan, but after that it wasn't terrible.

However, even if there were some way to get the two in a room alone together, there was no guarantee that they would even hit it off. Charles was the geekiest person Raven had ever met with in her entire life. That being said, he knew how to charm the pants off of anyone, be that his eighty-three-year old neighbor Dan or a gorgeous woman at the bar. But this was _Erik_ he would be seducing. Talking to, she corrected.

Same thing with Charles Xavier.

The problem with Erik Lehnsherr was that, if you were to rate his looks on a scale of one to ten, he'd probably get a twenty. He'd literally be Adonis in even a slightly drunk person's eye. Charles definitely hadn't seen anyone like him before. He was absolutely no match for Erik's penetrating gaze and chiseled jaw. Sure, Charles had his perks-bright blue eyes, dazzling smile, the young innocent look-and Erik _might_ be interested if he said the right thing. It was all so complicated. Mostly because Raven had no idea if Charles was gay. He'd never really dated other than one-night stands on the weekends, and he never told her the details. Not that she _wanted_ him to anyway. But, it would be nice to know if they were of the male or female gender.

Then there was Erik, who had only dated a few times, maybe seven years ago when he was in college. While he was unimaginably attractive, a lot of people stayed away.

 He never even thought about thinking about dating Raven; he was practically her replacement brother during the fall, winter and spring. She realized that might be a touchy subject with Charles.

Raven sighed and got out bed, checking the electronic clock. It was 10:00. Well, she didn't have a schedule. With a minute's browsing through her surprisingly small closet, she pulled on a sweater and some skinny jeans. Three swipes through her hair with a brush and she was ready for the day. (Normally, it took her more than thirty minutes to get her appearance to her satisfaction, but she had work to do.)

And by work, she meant getting her brother and best friend fucking. To put it loosely.

"Alright Darkholme," she said, putting her long blonde hair into a bun, "Operation Two Losers in Love is a go." She sat down in front of her laptop and turned it on, opening a new Word document. _OTLL Checklist,_ she named it.

 

**MISSION STATEMENT**

 

_I believe that my brother, Charles Francis Xavier, and my best friend that looks like my boyfriend, Erik Magnus Lehnsherr, should hook up/be fuck-buddies/be friends/get married and adopt three kids and a Goldendoodle. There is no definitive proof that they would be compatible, but this is where I come in. Through a series of elaborate settings, conversations, and situations, I will test what will first be an acquaintanceship and try to construct a real friendship, and if I can, relationship between the two. Charles is a workaholic during the university months, so I have three months during the summer in which to try to achieve my goal._

 

Just as she was about to come up with her first battle plan, her phone rang. It was Erik. She didn't pick it up. Sometimes, mostly the day after Raven had been drunk or something bad had happened like a fight with Charles, he would call from outside her door just to make sure she was there before using his key and coming in. He didn't have to, really, because Raven wouldn't even mind if Erik barged in without asking. She and Charles used to have that kind of relationship.

As predicted, Erik knocked on the door. "Raven?"

"What is it, Commissioner Gordon?" she said, trying to hide the tremor in her voice. There was the sound of a key in it's lock and Erik was in her apartment.

"You're quoting from _Batman._ Something's wrong," he grimaced as he plunked the plastic shopping bag on the table. "I got some Advil and bread, just in case."

"Why bread?" she asked, swallowing the lump in her throat as he passed her laptop. She shut it with her foot.

"Because, if I recall, you don't have any." replied Erik soundly.

"Who says I like bread?" Raven said. She wasn't sure why, but whenever she was trying to hide something she'd try to contradict anything anyone was saying.

"Um, let's see." he said, leaning on the counter and looking up at the ceiling. "The grocery receipts on the coffee table, the endless amounts of toast you make in the morning and the fact that you asked me to yesterday to get you a loaf." he concluded.

"Oh. Yeah." Raven murmured as blush crept up her neck. Damn her stupid tendency.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked.

"Yes!" she exclaimed with a tell-tale voice crack. He smiled his scary-ass shark smile.

"Oh really?"

"Fuck you!" Raven hissed.

"We've been over this, you know," he said, opening the grocery bag and pulling out the loaf of bread.

"You're bi, if I remember correctly," Raven replied. "Bisexual, attracted to both genders-"

"Yes, I know what it means." he growled. "Have you eaten?"

"No."

"Okay then." he said. He pulled off the twisty-thingy around the plastic bag containing the bread and popping a piece in the toaster. "Get any inspiration in the ten hours I haven't contacted you?"

"Huh?"

"Any book ideas?" Erik reiterated.

"Err..." Raven wasn't sure if she should lie about the topic so all the typing on her laptop wouldn't look suspicious, or just flat say no. She couldn't really see the benefits of keeping Erik in the dark except that he could truly like her brother for who he was, not because she wanted him to.

"Yes."

"What is it?" he asked eagerly. Her heart warmed as he saw that he was genuinely interested.

"Well, um. So a guy's sister is trying to get her brother and her best friend, a girl, together... Uh... But she doesn't know how, and she can't let her brother and best friend find out," she said. Erik sat down on the couch beside her. "So she makes all these plans behind their backs to get them to like each other."

"That's interesting," he said. "But wouldn't it be obvious to the best friend and sister?"

"Well, the brother is rarely around and the best friend... Well, let's just say she doesn't really notice," she finished awkwardly. "I don't know, it's just an idea."

"Why isn't the brother there?" asked Erik.

"Work, mainly."

"Ah. Kind of like yours." Raven swore it sounded accusing.

"Yeah, I guess... But it's not based on him, I swear."

"I believe you." Erik replied. The toaster dinged. He got up to get it.

"What if this was in real life?" she asked tentatively. Erik turned around.

"What do you mean?"

"The book. Say I was the girl setting the two up," she said. "And you were the best friend," she stammered.

"Well, first off, I'd have to get used to my new body," he said.

"Seriously."

"This isn't a serious question, serious answers aren't required."

"Whatever. But legitimately, what would you do?"

Erik looked down at the ground. "If I found out, you mean?"

"Yeah."

"Well... I would have to see if the brother is what he's cracked up to be." he said.

Raven froze. "Seriously?"

"I trust my best friend's judgment... When she's sober."

"Shut the fuck up."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't strictly edited, so if you see anything please let me know. 
> 
> I love how my paragraphs are all long before the dialogue comes in then it's not even making two lines XD
> 
> (I don't know how an architectural business works exactly, even when I spent like ten minutes searching on the internet, but I need Erik's designs and stuff to be shot down by Shaw, then some Cherik-y moments happen where Charles does stuff and Erik _ _ _ _ _ in _ _ _ _. I'm not going to spoil anything! And for those who would know, do architects have summers off? I have no fucking clue.)
> 
> Oh, yeah. I have a little thing of sorts that I've thought up. If anyone would like to help me out, here's the deal:
> 
> Conjure up as many situations as you can that Raven will either try or list in Operation Two Losers in Love (or, her OTLL checklist) in order to get Erik and Charles together. I'm kind of stuck on a coffee shop blind date, but I want them to be as humorous BUT somewhat realistic as possible. Really what I want is to see what you would like to be in the story, because I'm not writing this for me.
> 
> Again, thank you for all the comments and kudos in such a short period of time, it's so awesome.
> 
> Thanks :)


	3. Charles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charles gets out of school. Raven ambushes him with some guy that looks ten years older than her and acts like her brother. It must be Erik Lehnsherr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WellllllllllllllLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
> 
> Charles isn't going to be as nerdy as I might have portrayed him, whoops. And Raven hasn't shown Erik any pictures of Charles or vice versa, idk why or how but it just makes Erik's POV SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER.

Charles was probably happier than he'd been in months. His students all got more than a C- on their finals, he got news that he was getting assigned a TA for the next year, and he was _finally_ going to be able to see Raven again. It had been months of paperwork, tests, annoying staff pranks, long nights, countless glasses of wine and unintentional celibacy since he'd seen her. He hadn't meant to be absent from her life, he really hadn't, but it had to be that way.

"So, you're going to see your sister?" Moira asked as she appeared in the doorway of his office as he cleaned his desk.

"Yep," he replied. He yelped as he shut his finger in a drawer.

"How long has it been, since you've seen her?" she said.

"I'd rather not talk about it," mumbled Charles. Moira nodded before lunging out to catch a small potted plant as it almost fell off his desk. "Thanks..." Moira smiled and set it back on the wooden surface.

"Well, I'll see you around, then?" she said, hitching her saddlebag onto her shoulder. Charles nodded.

"We'll see. When I'm off work I normally can't get back to it, and when I'm at work I can't get out." he muttered, to which Moira made a sympathetic noise.

"Maybe I'll catch you somewhere." she grinned, and then she was gone. Out of all of Charles' co-workers, he liked Moira the most. That was mostly because she didn't try to write on his face with Sharpie when he was taking a nap or glue the pages of his lesson plans together. However, that was the case with the _rest_ of them, meaning Sean and Alex and Hank, though Hank was only there when it happened. Sean was a TA for Hank, and Alex was another professor. Somehow.

Charles finally packed up his desk and took one last glance around his office. Three months away from this cramped little space. He was, somehow, going to miss it. This part of his life was structured, safe, while the rest of it... not so much. His mother had cirrhosis due to her alcoholism, his step-father was spending the family fortune, and his sister was a romantic novelist. It could have been the absolute definition of a dysfunctional family. He added to the dysfunction, he supposed, but he didn't really dwell on it. _The exact opposite of what you're supposed to do,_ he told himself. His thoughts were scattered when he saw Raven in the parking lot with a huge cardboard sign that said: "CHARLES XAVIER'S SUPER SEXY RIDE HOME!" in big glittery letters.

He chuckled to himself as he jogged down the steps. He stopped when he saw a man next to her. He was tall, maybe six feet or more, well-built, and as much as Charles didn't want to admit it, _handsome._ Charles himself wasn't gay, but if he were... He left it at that.

"Hey!" he exclaimed as Raven through down the sign and threw her arms around him.

"You aren't leaving my sights for three months, you understand?" she hissed into his ear. Charles nodded. "God, I missed you."

"And I you," he replied into her blonde hair. He gently put his hands on her shoulders to pull her back and look at her, but Raven resisted.

"No, let me have this a little while longer." Raven said. Her grip around his waist tightened, then suddenly loosened. "Oh! I have to introduce you to Erik! Oi, Erik!"

The man that was leaning against Raven's Volkswagen perked up and set the fallen sign against the car before walking over in long strides.

"Charles, this is Erik, Erik, this is Charles. Meet, shake hands, be nice." she said. Erik looked at Charles like he was inspecting a piece of artwork. Like a five-year-old's crayon drawing of their house kind of artwork. Charles narrowed his eyes slightly as he shook his hand. "Charles, Erik is like another brother to me. I expect you to be accommodating."

"I've never not been accommodating to your friends," he scoffed, somewhat hurt at the brother statement.

"From what I've heard, that's not exactly the case," Erik said. Charles' head snapped up.

"Excuse me?"

"I..." he faltered. He at least had the decency to blush. "When Raven was in high school she said you practically chose her friends for her."

"I did not!" Charles protested, turning to Raven. She raised her eyebrows. "Only because you were bringing home stoners!"

"They weren't stoners! Those were people from my Creative Writing class!"

"Who were also stoners!"

"Like, two of them!" she said as she threw her hands up in the air. Charles made an annoyed noise in the back of his throat. Raven grinned.

"It's nice to have you back, big brother."

 

Raven drove him to his apartment, which somehow she had memorized upon driving there twice. Erik, it seemed, was nicer than he had appeared in the parking lot, and wasn't a decade older than his twenty-seven-year-old sister, being twenty-nine and turning thirty in the winter. The latter was an unnecessary fact supplied by Raven, to which she also said: "His birthday is during winter break, so you could help us celebrate!"

Like he _wanted_ to.

What Raven had said earlier had automatically made him resentful of this guy, even if he did somewhat take care of Raven. _He_ was her brother, not him. He knew he should be there, but he couldn't. Kurt had taken advantage of his mother's state and changed the will, giving nothing to Charles and only some to Raven, and leaving the rest to his company and Cain. This meant Charles was left with a teacher's salary and a few thousand dollars left in his bank account. Raven didn't know that, because he didn't want to scare her. Charles wasn't sure whether or not he should tell her, because it might save their relationship, but Raven was the type of person of worried intensely about those close to her to the point of a mental shut-down.

She'd had one of those once before when Cain had hit Charles in the head while he was in high school and Charles became severely concussed. It was at least two months before he could formulate his level thoughts, and a while before he was back to normal. During that time Raven had simultaneously stopped writing, doing her homework, talking to her friends; basically everything that made her Raven was gone. She'd come home from school and go right to Charles, cuss out Cain even if it meant being grounded, and got into fights at school. It was a depressing time for all of them.

So, he wasn't going to do that to her. He was just going to have to play the workaholic card, which he didn't actually enjoy doing. Raven was the most precious thing in the world to him, and he hated to see her be hurt by something he did, but if he didn't he was going to go broke and it would hurt her even more.

"You teach genetics, is that right?" Erik asked. Charles silently huffed before answering, "Yes."

"And where did you study?"

"Oxford."

"I thought I heard the accent," he said. Charles nodded and put on a fake smile before turning his head to look out the passenger's window. Raven shifted her eyes to glance at him and he heard her sigh.

"So, Charles, I heard you're getting a TA next year?" she said a little too cheerfully. It was to mask disappointment, no doubt.

"How did you know? I just found out," Charles exclaimed.

"I have ears."

"Meaning Hank McCoy," Erik supplied.

_"Professor_ Hank McCoy," snapped Charles. Raven rolled her eyes.

"What does it matter? He's not a professor right now. Just like you aren't going to be in a five mile radius of that damned university." she said.

"I live two miles away from the uni, Raven."

"Which means you're staying the summer with me," she practically sang while bobbing her shoulders up and down. Charles saw Erik smirk in the rear view mirror, which he was able to see because Raven always kept the windows down in the summer. For a moment, just a moment, he looked at Charles and smiled ever-so-slightly. Charles flicked his eyes away quickly, then glanced back, but Erik wasn't looking his way anymore.

Well, maybe he wasn't _that_ bad. He at least was easy on the eyes, which was more than some of Raven's friends, like Azazel Tokmakoff. Plus, from what Charles had heard, he was an architect at Hellfire Industries, which was the most prestigious architectural company in the area. _And architects don't have summers off,_ he reminded himself. _You don't have to have him lingering around all the time._

"Here we are!" Raven announced, miraculously parallel parking in one motion. Charles sat shaken for a moment before swooping down to give Raven a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, dear."

"Remember, you're coming over tonight!" she said, pointing a nail-polished finger at the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, I'll remember," he chuckled before very quietly adding: "Will he be there?"

"Of course!" she said, almost infinitely happier than she was a few seconds before. "Go have a nice workless few hours, brother dear!" she said, then practically pushed him out of the car.

"Use protection!" Charles yelled, hoping Erik heard it.

"You know I won't!" Raven hollered back before turning the corner.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It looks like I'm setting our boys off to a bit of a rocky start... Oh well! 
> 
> Thank you to InfiniteCalm (I just spelled that InfiniteClam for a second XD) for supplying me with the architect information!
> 
> It'll be like two or three more chapters before OTLL kicks in, but it'll get there!
> 
> THERE'S A FUCKING CRICKET IN MY ROOM SHITTTTTTT DX


	4. Erik

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven's brother wasn't supposed to look like this. He was supposed to have extreme acne and baggy t-shirts and wire-rimmed glasses and weird off-brand tennis shoes. He was not supposed to have bright blue eyes, red lips and an infectious smile. 
> 
> Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep trying to embed shit but it isn't working cuz I'm a noob :P
> 
> Anyway, the song Raven is half-singing is called Talk on Indolence by The Avett Brothers, and they are NOT a punk band, but one brother is from one. It's a long story, but whatever. They're good, end of discussion.

After dropping Charles off at his apartment building, Erik immediately glared at Raven from the back seat with all his might. She looked back in the front mirror with amusement in her hazel eyes.

"Problem?"

"Fuck you!"

"It's not my fault. You said the wrong thing." she said with a shrug. Erik scowled. That wasn't even half the problem. A _quarter_ of the problem. Raven's brother wasn't supposed to look like that. He wasn't supposed to look like he walked straight out of his sister's romance novels times ten with his bright blue eyes and pale skin and red lips. He wasn't supposed to have an Oxford accent or wear cardigans in the summer. None of this was supposed to happen.

At least Charles hated him. Thankfully he had said the wrong thing at the right time, and now Charles wanted nothing to do with him. Because, for a second, Erik was sure he was almost attracted to his best friend's brother.

"You're going to be seeing a lot of him if you're around me, you know. If you don't want to be around him, don't be around me." Raven said almost mournfully.

"No, I'm not going to give up my summer because your brother and I don't get along," Erik growled. He unbuckled the seatbelt and climbed into the passenger's seat. This was going to be a bit of a problem. Maybe. Erik wasn't going to have go out of his way to _not_ think about the way he licked his lips before saying something, or how his jawline looked when he turned his head. He might have to avert his thoughts if he thought about the way his eyes glimmered when he looked into Erik's in the rear view mirror. In that moment, he had to smile at him.

"I just want you two to get along. You're my favorite people in the world." said Raven, turning into her apartment building. Erik nodded.

"I'll try. If he does."

"He will, I hope." Raven sighed and parked the car. With a grunt, Erik got out and closed the door. "You'd better be nice!"

"I'm nothing but nice," scoffed Erik. That was probably a lie. No, definitely a lie. At work, everyone steered clear of him. They would scamper out of his sights when he would walk into the main office, cower whenever he talked or even looked at them, squeak when they had to talk to him. Luckily there were some people who could look him in the eye with a straight face, like Angel Salvadore. He didn't have friends except for Raven, but Angel was the closest thing he had at work. She constantly constructed a slacker image, even if she always showed up five minutes early and left fifteen minutes late.

Azazel Tokmakoff, was... well... Something else. For one, he spoke in cryptic English and Russian intervals, using Russian words in place of an English one, like it made it more poetic or something. Erik saw how he might think that, but since he didn't know a lick of Russian it was annoying as hell. Then, there was Satan himself. Sebastian Shaw.

The bastard inherited the company through some sort of poker night gone wrong, and while he knew enough about architecture to run the company, he completely relied on Erik, in turn never giving him any credit for what he'd done. The new elementary school library? Erik. The re-vamped lobby for the crumbling hotel on the corner of West and Main? Erik. The animal shelter? Yours truly. Except, in the papers and news and everywhere else, it was Sebastian Shaw. It made Erik want to tear his hair out every time the fucker came to his office door with that shit-eating grin on his face, saying, "Mr. Lehnsherr? A word?" before practically berating a design out of him.

At least Erik got his own office, which was nice because the rest of the people-besides Angel and Azazel-in the building were either kiss-asses or dumb-asses. That might not have been true with some of them but Erik didn't care enough to find out.

"I'm a little nervous 'bout what you'll think of me in my swimmin' trunks," Raven sang as she unlocked her door. "Home sweet home!" she declared, flinging her arms out like an Olympic gymnast and smacking Erik in the face. "Sorry."

"'S fine...," Erik mumbled as he rubbed his temple. Raven was eccentric, but not in the annoying way. Most people, mainly people from work, would think that Erik would hate a person like her, but in actuality he found her goofy attitude refreshing. Either people were afraid of him or were attracted to him, and Erik almost wished he could just lock himself in a room with Raven sometimes. The attraction thing was a problem because they were mostly women, and while he was sometimes attracted to the female gender, most of the time he wasn't. That being said, Erik rarely ever dated or brought home any guys. It was complicated.

"My brother had the accent before he went to Oxford, you know," Raven said from her bedroom as she got changed into something along the lines of an old t-shirt from a concert she'd went to and sweatpants from Old Navy. Erik plopped himself down on the couch and took out his phone.

"How?"

"This rare thing that happened when he got a concussion. He used to speak normally, now he has an accent." Raven explained, muffled as she probably pulled a sweatshirt over her head. His hunch was found correct when she walked out of her room in a White Stripes hoodie.

"It's July." Erik said as he scrolled through his emails.

"And?"

"It's like, over eighty degrees outside."

"Your point?"

"Never mind. Burn up, for all I care." Erik muttered as he saw an email from Angel labeled: YOU'RE GOING TO FLIP!!!!!!

He opened it and saw a newspaper article about the new school library with Shaw's beaming fucking face at the front, receiving an award.

"No. No, no, no, fuck no." he snarled.

"What?" asked Raven nervously. She knew the tone well enough to realize he was about to get angry. And boy, was he going to be angry.

"That little son of a bitch..." Erik hissed, ignoring her questions and scrolling through the article. _Third architectural feat this year... A genius in the architect's realm... We wonder what he'll conjure up next._ His head was about to burst at the seams with rage, like a character in a cartoon with steam coming out of his ears and his face a tomato red.

"Shaw?" Raven murmured, cautiously sitting down next to him and reading the article. "Oh god, didn't you do that?"

"Yes!" Erik said through gritted teeth. "I did all of it! Every single one of these projects he's being awarded for!"

"Me and that bastard are going to have some _words,"_ Raven said. "Loaded, take-off-your-earrings kind of words..."

"You can't. I'll get fired. And you could just as well kiss your career goodbye." Erik sighed as he shut his phone off and set it on the coffee table. That much was true. If anyone said anything against Sebastian Shaw, they found themselves either on the streets or working at a gas station where no one knew their name. He had enough power to make it so that you never existed. That's why no one said anything about the corruption.

"It's just so unfair!" Raven whined.

"I know." Erik said. "There's nothing we can do except roll with the punches."

"I'm about to throw some of my own!" she said, pounding her fist on the couch. Erik shook his head.

"Listen, Raven, while I would love to give the piece of shit what he deserves, I _can't._ I don't have the money or the status to do so." he said.

"Jesus-fuck, do _something_ though!" she exclaimed.

"What? Barge into his office and demand him to release the information? Go on strike? There is legitimately nothing I can do!" Erik almost shouted, which he was thankful that Raven was used to and tolerated.

"Going on strike isn't a bad idea." murmured Raven quietly. Erik groaned. "No, no, wait... What if you gave him bad designs?"

"He'd give me credit then."

"Oh. Didn't think of that."

"I've been under this guy for five years-I would've thought of something if there was an option." Erik sighed and laid back on the sofa.

"Your job is shitty, man." Raven said after a while.

"Yeah, it is."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER:
> 
> I know nothing about architecture at all... So... Heh, fuck. If there's stuff that looks legit, it's complete and utter bullshit.
> 
> *fassy smile* IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S FINE JUST FOCUS ON DEH CHERIK
> 
> *gets shot in the head by Scott Summers because he ruins happiness*


	5. Raven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looks like OTLL is going to be harder to accomplish than Raven previously imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm freaking out over all these kudos :D
> 
> And I know Charles isn't normally so standoffish but I like not-so-happy-go-lucky Charles, so.

What Raven was expecting was _some_ sort of connection, be that that they were both guys and actually didn't like football or that the sky was blue, for fuck's sake. She didn't think they were going to be rivals at the very beginning. Some of it, she knew, was Erik's fault. It was what he had said, true or not, because even though he didn't do a great job she knew Charles was trying to protect her from things she shouldn't be exposed to. Like stoners, for example.

Though, there was something she had seen. She was only able to see it for a second and didn't get to know if it lasted any longer because a grey Buick cut in front of her at the last possible moment before she stopped at a red light. Before that had happened, though, she saw Erik smile at Charles in the rearview mirror, and whether Charles knew it or not he had almost smiled back. It was like two friends that knew something no one else did. It was fucking _awesome._ Maybe awesome wasn't the word. Touching. Whatever.

If there was something there, Raven was going to find it, make it better and sculpt the most beautiful goddamn gay relationship she could. Then write a book about it. There was still that part, which would be easy after she got them together. At that point she could tell them, and they'd all laugh/marvel at her ingenuity and whatnot. But, since they were far from even comfortable with looking at each other in the eye, she could worry about that later.

And the time limit. Erik was still working in the summer, and Charles was only off for three months. True, he would have a TA, but he would still have a shit-ton of work to do. There was always winter break, but by then both would be uninterested or too busy. And Erik had told her that: there might be layoffs at work, a new stadium might be planned to be built in the following year, and that Shaw was going through his version of a mid-life crisis or "some well-deserved build up to karma that should result in brain cancer". His words, not Raven's. Apparently he was yelling for no reason about nonsensical things, gambling, drinking in the office, and forgetting that he was supposed to try to keep his relationship with Emma Frost a secret (which he never did anyway, but now he was boasting about the wild nights of sex loudly to the entire staff).

"He literally told the entire office how many times he got off," Erik grumbled, "and in what ways."

"You should file a report."

"To who? HR? Emma Frost is on the receiving end of this entire thing." he said. Raven had forgotten about that. She forgot it quite often, actually. It just made her realize over and over again how fucked up Erik's job was. He had so much potential, too, and it was just criminal to see it go to waste.

"Start your own company." she murmured. Erik chuckled and looked at his feet. "Seriously."

"I know you're serious. But I need money for that, money I'm not getting because of my job right now."

"Well. I know I can't, but I would totally give you money if Kurt hadn't changed the will." she said. With a smile Erik nodded.

"It's the thought that counts." he replied, checking his watch. "When is your brother supposed to get here again?"

"In thirty minutes. I'd expect him in about ten." Raven sighed and put her feet on Erik's lap, a gesture that didn't even require a thought from either of them.

They'd known each other for three years, through Azazel, ironically. She had gone on a couple dates with him, and had consequentially met Erik in the process. The reason Charles hadn't seen Erik for this amount of time was because Erik had been working overtime, and to go on a two month business trip in San Francisco for Sebastian Shaw. Like, Shaw was supposed to be there but he sent Erik instead. "You don't do anything else," he had said, "Make yourself useful for once."

That made him miss the summer, and then Charles was back to being Mr. Busy Bee. _Not this summer,_ she told herself. _They are going to meet each other. Because that's what people who are probably destined have to do._

There was a knock on the door, and Raven sprang up to open it. Charles appeared in the doorway with a casual white t-shirt and some corduroy pants.

"Brother dear, do come in!" she exclaimed with the theatrics of an actress struggling to stay relevant. Charles smiled for a second, which was rewarding, but it faltered as his eyes landed on Erik.

"Hi." he said.

"Hello." Erik replied almost too pleasantly. Bless his darkened heart.

"So, Raven..." Charles began, trying to find some topic of conversation. "What um... What have you... Err..."

"She has the foundations for a new book," supplied Erik.

"Is that so? Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"Because the idea died as soon as it started," Raven growled through gritted teeth. With Erik, it was okay because he could care less, with Charles added to the equation it just made everything harder. For one, one might think it would make Raven happy to see them together so they pretend to be attracted to the other for her benefit and the book's. It wouldn't be real. Or, Charles would stop even trying to see her and Erik wouldn't be her friend anymore. Those two holes in her life were like two halves of her heart, about five ribs and a kidney. (She knew how to rationalize pain through body parts. She's had spare time.)

"Oh." Erik said awkwardly. "Well, it was a good idea."

"It was too obvious," Raven countered.

"Maybe. But that just makes the realization so much stronger for the other characters and adds real conflict." he said like he knew exactly how it was going to play out. Charles looked like a child who had been denied the right to play a game with his friends. Erik saw this. "Her idea was to have a girl try and bring her best friend and brother together through a series of elaborate experiments designed to make a relationship." he explained. Charles smiled another one of his fake smiles.

"That is a good idea," he murmured, casting his eyes down. Raven sighed. This was way harder than it was supposed to be.

"Well, now that you're here, let's do something!" she proposed desperately. Chess, though it was the best way to cheer her brother up, was a two player game and took almost an hour to play. So, no. Not chess. And it seemed kind of childish to suggest that Charles, who she hadn't seen since April, come over and play board games. No, it had to be something different. Maybe she could even incorporate her mission too.

"We are going grocery shopping!" she announced.

"What?" Erik and Charles said simultaneously.

"Yeah, for dinner. I only have about half a box of Cheerios and some bread." Raven said. Erik sighed and got up.

"Alright."

"Charles?" Raven prompted. Her brother looked up at her, then at Erik, then at the place between the wall and the ceiling.

"Fine..."

"Let's go do some shopping!" whooped Raven.

She smirked as she heard, "Fuck," and, "Bloody hell," under the other men's breaths.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized how freakishly short these chapters are... It's because I have to constantly switch POV's. But, it doesn't matter. Again, focus on the- *gets shanked by Scott Summers* FUCK


	6. Charles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grocery shopping is weirder than Charles thought it was going to be.
> 
> Cue Raven playing with pineapple, buying numerous boxes of Lucky Charms and embarrassing Erik as she tries to set him up with the somewhat attractive male cashier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG FIFTY KUDOS EEEEEE :D
> 
> Here's the first part to Operation Two Losers in Love! Enjoy and thank you for all the support!

"Raven..." Charles murmured as she threw a box of cereal into the shopping cart. She was like a child, a bubbly full-grown child that wrote romance novels with almost-explicit sex scenes, but a child nonetheless. And it was so good to see her again.

"Yes?"

"You already have cereal."

"I know, but as I said, it was half a box."

"I think he meant in addition to the three other boxes you already have in the cart." Erik said in a low voice. Raven shrugged and kept going down the aisle.

"I'm preparing to survive a nuclear holocaust." she said, reaching up for some flour.

"In that case, I would be buying out the non-perishables section, not filling your cabinet with Cocoa Puffs and Special K," Charles said, and Erik made a relating noise. The hair on the back of his neck bristled a little. He still did not like this guy, and not just because of the line in the lot a few hours prior. It was because he acted like Charles was some celebrity and he was the fan trying to hold back from freaking out. Not that he idolized Charles, it was the containing of his actual self that was aggravating. His sister was not just friends with someone that agreed with everything and only said a few words. No, it had to be someone that challenged her. So who was this bloke?

"I think you should enjoy yourself while you die." Raven said as she stood on the cart and popped a wheelie down the rest of the section.

"Yes, because artificial chocolate-flavored balls and fibrous cereal is the best way to go." Erik said. Charles raised an eyebrow. Maybe he _did_ challenge her. Interesting.

"No, the cereal is the enjoyment, how I die is the nuclear radiation." Raven said.

"Or you just become mutated." reasoned Erik with a shrug, tossing her a loaf of bread. Charles had forgotten how much Raven loved bread.

"Yeah, and I would become blue and be able to shape-shift and stuff." she announced with a twirl, grabbing a carton of eggs as she did.

"That's pretty creative," Charles remarked, handing her a bunch of bananas which she took and gently placed in the cart. "How'd you come up with that?"

"I'm a writer, Charles. I make stuff up." she said. Charles nodded. "And Erik would be able to... like... control metal and build things." Raven said. "We could call you Mister Magnet."

"Or Magneto. That sounds way better." Erik chuckled.

"Alright, Sir I Can Only Sound Cryptic Lehnsherr." Raven scoffed with a twinkle in her eyes. It almost looked like she was in love with him. Charles felt what could've been a growl in the back of his throat. It was silenced when Erik looked over at him and smiled. Not the smile he'd seen when he was laughing, which was scarier than Raven trying to sing John Mayer drunk, but a closed-mouthed smile like the one he'd noticed in the car ride back to his apartment building.

Charles tried his best to look indifferent.

Raven looked like she could explode from joy. Why was she all of a sudden so happy?

"I'm going to the bathroom, please watch the cart filled with nourishment." Raven announced with a bubbly, goofy grin that was typical of her.

Erik nodded and watched her until she disappeared. Now they were alone.

"What's with you and Raven?" Charles said immediately, not able to stop it.

"Excuse me?" asked Erik. Absolute repulsion was on his face, and that only made Charles angrier.

"The way you look at her. The way she looks at you. Are you two secretly dating?" he hissed, stepping closer to the architect. The latter looked utterly confused and shocked.

"I would _never..."_ he growled. The air soured between them. "I'm gay, if Raven hadn't told you."

Charles looked at him like an embarrassed deer in headlights. Gay? He was gay? Raven was the writer with the gay best friend. Bloody hell.

"Well, I'm bi, but I prefer guys over girls most of the time," Erik said. "But _what the hell_ made you think we were dating?"

"Oh I don't know, the fact that you smile at her like she's the most beautiful thing in the world and she looks back at you like you're the best thing she's ever seen!" Charles said a little too loudly. An elderly man with his grandson looked at them, then pushed the cart faster.

"Good, fucking..." he muttered. "You're really that naïve, aren't you? Or is it just that you don't know what having a best friend is like?"

"What?"

"We love each other in a different way than wanting to be in a relationship! We understand each other; she makes me laugh, and I temper her craziness; she calms me down and I cheer her up! Don't you understand what a friendship is?" Erik said exasperatedly. Charles wished he could say yes. Blushing, Charles looked down at his shoes and the linoleum floor. As a child he was always the odd one out, preferring books to other children. When everyone was swimming, Charles would be studying for the finals... in the summer. Show and Tell was always about gene discoveries and models, even if the teacher didn't understand it. So no, he couldn't say he did know.

"Oh." Erik murmured.

"No, stop." Charles said. "I was-am, perfectly fine on my own."

"You're a professor who works your ass off for a teacher's salary and has no time for your own family." Erik said. The words stung like bee stings and ice straight from the freezer and stove burns.

"What would you know? I'm fine," Charles snarled, harsher than he'd intended it to be. Erik recoiled, then shook his head.

"From an outsider's perspective, I would say otherwise."

"Again, _outsider's perspective._ That means you don't actually know what's going on." Charles said.

"I have an outsider's and insider's perspective, thanks to Raven," retorted Erik without skipping a beat. It was like he had planned this.

Raven decided to reappear at that moment with a frown on her face as she saw that Charles was glaring daggers at Erik and Erik was rolling his eyes.

"Jesus, you guys are like fucking fire and ice," she hissed under her breath. "How this is going to work is beyond me."

Charles didn't know what she meant by that.

"Erik, would you be a dear and go get some tomatoes?" Raven asked.

"I thought you didn't like-"

"Go. Get. Some tomatoes." she growled, and Erik got the message. Charles sighed and leaned onto the grocery cart.

"You're causing this, I'm not stupid."

"What!"

"Erik promised me he would be on his best behavior. Besides, I think he genuinely wants to be on good terms with you. You, however, are like an emotional time bomb." she said, looking over at him to narrow her eyes.

"An emotional time bomb, huh?" he laughed.

"You're constantly waiting for him to slip up so you can be angry at him." she explained. "I don't expect you to be making out every time I leave the room, but at least pretend to be nice to each other."

"That's the first thing you think of when you think of that sentence?" Charles grumbled.

"Because it'll make you remember it better." sighed Raven as she stopped next to the produce section. Erik walked back empty-handed with a nervous look in his eyes. He raised an eyebrow. "No, I'm still in need of some lunch meat," she said, and his shoulders slumped. "Charles."

When he stalked over to the lunch meat, he saw something that was ultimately satisfying given the situation. Raven was rapidly poking his chest with her finger, while Erik glared angrily at the ground. He caught snippets of "touchy subject" and "it's not his fault" and "it's his choice".

Raven signaled him back over. Charles stalked to the cart and averted his gaze to the middle-aged mom kissing the top of her daughter's head.

"Apologize. _Now."_ she ordered. Both Charles and Erik looked at her like she was crazy. "Yes, I mean it! Charles, say you're sorry for blowing up in Erik's face, and Erik... Say sorry, both of you."

"Raven, we aren't-"

"Erik, you're the one I'm most disappointed in. Now." she snarled maliciously.

"Sorry." they both said at the same time.

"I really hope you don't expect us to-"

"Hug it out? Oh, you must have read my mind." Raven said. "Arms around each other for five seconds."

"Rave-"

"Charles." countered the blonde. Erik looked at Charles in a sort of apology for what he was about to do. Charles shut his eyes and reached his arms out.

"I was kidding, God!" Raven giggled. "I should've made you do it though. I would have paid to see what this place would've thought of two guys hugging awkwardly near the apples."

"I swear to God, Raven!" Charles exclaimed.

"I'm nothing but a curious soul, Charles." she replied, pushing the cart into motion and skipping around. She picked up a pineapple. "For example, is this very aerodynamic?"

"No!" Charles and Erik hissed. She threw it to Erik anyways. Luckily he caught it, but not without cutting his fingers because he grabbed the green fronds on accident.

"Verdammt!"

"You speak German?" Charles asked.

"Und Sie nicht?" he replied with the scary shark smile.

"Did you learn it as a second language, or..."

"I lived in Deutschland until I was ten." Erik said retrospectively. "It's a whole different world out there."

"Really?"

"No." he said with a laugh. "It's cleaner and healthier, I suppose."

"And America isn't?"

"From an outsider's perspective, it's like a pigsty of calories and obese children." he sighed. He flinched when he saw Raven's ecstatic face. "It has its merits, I guess..."

"Right. No, I see where that image comes from." Charles replied, nodding absentmindedly. Raven was almost jumping up and down; she was visibly shaking. Charles noticed and looked at her worriedly.

"I'm just... excited to get some groceries," she lied awkwardly. Charles shook his head at the ground and dissolved whatever moment he'd had with Erik.

"Let's go pay." Erik said. "Do you want this?" he asked, holding up the pineapple in his battered hand.

"Eh, no." Raven shrugged. Erik grumbled a German curse under his breath as he replaced it with the others.

At the checkout line, Charles was getting weird looks from the lady cashier from line eight. Her eyes were like a girl in some anime Raven used to be obsessed with. Erik looked like he saw Charles' discomfort, so he stepped in the girl's line of sight. The outcome was even worse for her eyes. Charles wasn't sure whether or not to be grateful or jealous. He picked indifference. The cashier at their line was good-looking enough, with dark hair and hazel eyes.

"Hi," he said pleasantly to Raven.

"Hi..." she replied, then looked over at Erik, then Charles with an analyzing look. His sister was confusing him every which way. She smiled as she looked back at him. "I'm Raven."

"Jonathan." he said as he rung everything up. "Jonathan" was about Erik's age, perhaps a bit younger.

"This is Erik," Raven said, gesturing to her best friend. Charles cocked a brow as he wondered what the hell was going on.

"Hello." Jonathon said with the same tone of voice he'd used prior, but a little deeper. He looked up from the conveyor belt and cleared his throat before averting his gaze back down. Charles felt his cheeks redden slightly. Was Raven trying to set up Erik with the goddamn grocery store cashier? And even more mind-boggling, was it _working?_

"Yeah, hi. What's the total?" Erik said bluntly. Jonathan shook his head and looked at the computer.

"Fifty-six twenty-two." he murmured. Erik pulled out his credit card, which made Charles feel how correct Raven was when she said he was an emotional time bomb. Because, right now, he wanted to explode. With what emotion, he didn't even know.

"Would you... like to donate to the new stadium going to be built next year?"

"No." Erik snarled viciously. Charles was rather taken aback. The new stadium was supposed to have the economy of the town skyrocket. Everyone, even schoolchildren knew that.

"Erik, relax."

"Any money I donate goes to Shaw," he answered, turning around to look at Raven, then at Charles' perplexed face. "He's my boss. He's an extreme asshole."

"Oh." he said stupidly. Raven _had_ told him about that.

"Sir, your hand is... um... bleeding," Jonathan squeaked.

Erik looked down at his hand. It was indeed dripping onto his credit card. "Oh fuck." Raven said. "I am so sorry."

"It's alright," he hissed. He dabbed at it with his black t-shirt, which until now Charles hadn't noticed how tight it was on him.

"Have a nice day..." Jonathan said as Raven and Charles grabbed the groceries and practically sprinted out the of the grocery store.

Charles vowed he was never going to that Harris Teeter's again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone catch the Red vs Blue quote?
> 
> Oh, btw:
> 
> Und Sie nicht?: And you don't?


End file.
